People Wearing Ripped Jeans In The Sun Have A Really Bad Time
Ah, the glorious summer. Gaze in awe as the grey lifelessness of winter slips away to be replaced by the vibrant gorgeousness of the fairer months. Yes, if they were humans, summer would be upbeat, vibrant sister that is way out of your league and winter would be the older, more serious and bossier sibling that I would inevitably end up dating. But enough about my sad love life, we’ve got the most beautiful season of the year ahead of us.
Along with summer comes warmer swimming water, an influx of the color green and, of course, that dastardly do-gooder itself, the sun. While the sun is probably our greatest ally during the summer, as it brings the warmth that allows us to have such memorable times, it can also be our worst enemy. By “our” I’m of course talking about those of us who are fairer skinned, as the sun each summer will mercilessly singe our fair skin until it is redder than the devil himself. Wait a minute, is the devil red because he was fair skinned and got fire burnt in heck or was he always red? These are the questions that keep me up at night, people.
Anyways, no time for that nonsense. We have way more important things to discuss, like what happens when the sunburns start to get a little goofy. Sure, one solid sunburn across your pasty, probably Irish or British body might look… alright, considering, but what happens when you have a bunch of lines like you spilled some Twizzlers on your knee? Or some breadsticks on your knee? Or some… okay, sorry, I haven’t eaten lunch yet.
What I’m trying to say is that people these days are falling victim to their own fashion: ripped jeans. Yes, it seems the icons of rebellion (society wants your jeans to be intact, but you just don’t give a care, don’t you?) can cause some pretty embarrassing burn lines.